My foray into the dating world has been more like an extensive research project into the twisted male psyche, rather than a series of fairytale romances. But it has been fantastic for content and stories.
My tales include: The aristocrat comedian with a less than honourable past, the junior doctor who thought the moon landings were faked, the university professor that used to be an underwear model...but today I wanted to talk about Dr Dreamy.
This man was ticking all the boxes, he was absolutely gorgeous, he was a surgeon, he had a very expensive car and property in London and Mauritius. If this man was my doctor I would be hiring someone to come into hospital and do full hair and makeup on me every day before his shift started. He didn’t look like a real docto, he looked like he played one on Greys Anatomy for gods sake.
Saying all that, I have to admit the personality wasn’t up to much but I was going through a phase of thinking I should find someone boring to offset my larger than life character (think jay and Gloria a lá Modern family).
Plus this was at the height of COVID (pre vaccine) and I felt it was important to do my bit to boost NHS morale.
But my dreams of driving around in a Mercedes and summering in Mauritius were cruelly cut short when Dr Dreamy outright refused to wear a condom. I will just say again, this man, was A DOCTOR!
When I explained that that my health was important to me and I’d therefore need him to wear a condom, he threw an absolute fit.
Now I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a grown 32 year old man throw a tantrum, but it’s the fastest I’ve ever gotten the dreaded ICK.
He was deeply offended that I thought he might have STDs. But I pointed out that if he’s asking me not to use protection, he’s definitely asking other people to go without too. That point seemed to stump him for a while until he tried to tell me that me being on the pill was total protection.
Now he was obviously the doctor and I am very much not, but even this ex catholic school girl knows the pill does NOT provide protection from STDs.
This doctor actually tried to tell me that the pill protects from STDs so that I would have sex with him without protection!! So much for Dr Dreamy.
Now this aversion to condoms isn’t exactly rare, practically every woman I know has had to deal with pathetic cries of ‘condoms don’t fit me’ and ‘but it doesn’t feel as good’.
But still I was just in shock that a fully qualified doctor couldn’t give two shits about my health and actually tried to gaslight me into believing the pill would be sufficient protection.
The moral of this fairytale romance is this:
Men. Caring about your sexual partners health and well-being is basic human decency. So wear condoms and stop being gross!
Ladies, dating the perfect man will likely come with a cost, which in this case,I suspect, was super gonorrhoea.