Being a Woman on the Internet Can Suck

Okay kids gather round, Auntie Lex is on another one of her rants about sexist arseholes that message her creepy shit on the internet.

I mean christ the creeps have really come out of the woodwork the past couple weeks. I've been hitting the block button faster than you can say 'learn how to take a compliment'.

Basically a few of my posts, particularly my instagram reels have done very well, nearly 30,000 views on a couple, woohooo! But did the internet give me, a woman, any time to celebrate the success? Did it fuck. It took only a few hours for my DMs to be filled to the brim with terrifying messages from men old enough to be my father, or even grandfather, who had taken time out of their busy schedules of heart attacks and golf to explicitly tell me all the things they would like to do to me given the chance. A chance they would never ever get.

Then theres the slightly less direct but just as creepy messages. They aren't describing sexual acts in detail or literally just sending me pornographic images with the accompanying message 'I want to give you a kiss'. (Excuse me while I vomit).

No, these messages are a bit more serial killer than horny old man. Things like 'Do you live alone' 'Hello young lady' and 'You look like Brie Larson!'. (That last one was sent to me by an account dedicated to Brie Larsons feet.... )

Which brings me nicely onto the subject of the friendly foot fetisher. The messages tend to be something like 'Hey, I was just wondering if you'd like to sell me some of your well worn footwear, the stinkier the better lol, nothing sexual just feet!' At first I thought yes dolla dolla billssss, and its not like I'm sending nudes or anything...right? But I soon realised that just because I don't find feet sexually arousing in any possible way, that doesn't make it not a sexual thing. By selling my shoes I am participating in whatever sexual fantasy these men have, and I quickly decided against it. BLOCKED.

While these kinds of messages tend to come from older men, it isn't exclusively an older male issue. The messages from men my own age and younger tend to just be different, more deserving of an eye roll than anything else. I once posted a book I was reading, Girls and Sex, a book on what it's like to be a young woman in the modern age of Tinder and hookup culture, a true feminist masterpiece. A man around 25 completely and almost comically missing the point pops up to say 'I like girls and sex!'. The messages from younger men have the same intentions as the older, they just write like immature little boys which to be honest comes off as less threatening. An 'Only fans???' here, a 'Show me your tits!' there, its still harassment but it has more of a 'just being a sexist dickhead with the mental age of 13' vibe than a 'I'm going to murder you and keep your corpse as a doll' vibe. I can't say I care for either.

My experience reflects that of many, many women on the internet in any kind of slightly public capacity. I found myself thinking 'I'm so lucky I haven't had any rape or death threats' which is an insane thing to think!! That shouldn't even cross my mind.

Obviously these messages can be scary and unnerving but the overall feelings I have are exhaustion and frustration. I'm so tired of men thinking its okay to send me all these sexually charged messages, It's dehumanising and depressing that this is the world I'm living in.

I don't know how to explain to men who have these attitudes that I am not here to facilitate their sexual desires, you are not entitled to a response from me, you are not entitled to harass me.


Dear creeps,

Fuck off


Women on the internet.