Being a self care queen is not bubblebaths and 'treating yourself' believe me I've used the 'self care' excuse a thousand times. Want a new dress? Self care! 20 pound a week on soy lattes? Self care! Glass of wine in the bath? Self care, self care, self care. But self care isn't really supposed to be about indulgence. We all love indulgence and I am a big believer in it, treating ourselves definitely makes us feel better and the bigger the treat, the better. But the issue with it is that it is surface level. Treats don't change how we feel deep down, and they aren't constructive to giving us better lives or making us better people, which is ultimately what self care is all for.
Have a little scroll down the self care hashtag on instagram and you'll be confronted by cute couples face mask posts, feet in bubble baths with an accompanying alcoholic beverage, usually posted by a mum with a caption like 'Gym? I thought you said GIN!' and of course theres the ever helpful 'LOVE YOURSELF' text posts. Real self care is too boring to post on instagram. Self care like working really hard at your job, budgeting well and actually not having that very large glass of wine on a Tuesday evening Karen!
We all know that working hard, dieting, being financially responsible and going to the gym on the reg will make us feel better in the long run. It will improve our quality of life and our health. We can finally live like the women in the adverts who pick up a green smoothie in the morning, jog to work (somehow managing to not get all sweaty and gross in the process), absolutely boss their meetings, come home to their spotless kitchen and sexy husband, sigh as they finish their day with advanced Suduku as the camera fades out to 'ALWAYS: Now you can be just as active even on your period!' The subtext there being: (Women, you are naturally disadvantaged in the workplace due to being able to create life! Never take a day off ever! Never take things easy even for a second, even if you're in as much pain as a heart attack!! You must always be perfect at all times! Always products are available at all major supermarkets, boots and superdrug. xx) It seems impossible to aspire to be this person, and it is, everyones going to have off days and no one is ever advert perfect but being able to devote energy to your work, to eat healthy and exercise and look after our mental health is all achievable. It may not make you advert lady, but it will make you healthier and happier.
The problem with this is we don't want to. Its hard work and most of us just don't have the emotional capacity to fight the battle every day. It can be hard to motivate yourself even if theres a clear motive to improve your life. Personally I've found that this reluctance to better ones self is all to do with attitude.
The way that we word things in our heads makes such a huge difference! Instead of thinking 'I don't want to work today' or 'I cant be bothered to get to the gym' change your thinking to something positive like 'I deserve to progress by career and be financially secure' and 'I deserve to be healthy and strong and energised'
Aaaaaaand that, my friends, is how you turn the things that you don't necessarily want to do into #TREATYOSELF. The ultimate self care.
Photography by Sarah Ellen (@SarahEllen_Photography)
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