My On-Again, Off Again Relationship

...with my Instagram feed. Yes this is going to be such a 'first world problems post' so get ready to roll your eyes at my unhealthy obsession with Instagram and Social media in general.

I'm sure everyone has already heard of the new trend in cleansing; a social media cleanse! The romantic notion of simply deleting all social media apps or just turning your phone off completely sounds like utter bliss. But what do you do when you work on social media? When your career doesn't just stop if you take a break but actually goes backwards? Recently I took a weekend off and found I'd lost nearly 70 followers!

Social media is such an addiction, it's actually scary how linked my mood is to how many likes my latest Instagram post is getting or how many followers I got that day. On top of that is my constant perfectionism over my own work, I must view my latest posts 100 times a day, and maybe my own story at least 20 times and when you stare at something that long your brain begins to hate it. I recently took a shot that I really loved, then I submitted it for approval (as it was an ad for a brand) and I kept going into my camera roll to look at it so much that by the time I was given a posting date I hated it and winced as I posted it to my feed. Although I do have a little tip that I've started doing to help this, all I do is rotate the photo in my camera roll onto its side. So when I get round to posting it the right way up it's almost like a fresh photo and I don't hate it as much!

It's a strange industry to be in. A real Love-Hate relationship. I love social media and I absolutely adore my work. But why do I place so much importance on it? In the real world do likes and follows really mean anything? It's not like they make you a better person. Yet my life revolves around these little numbers on a screen.

Do I compare myself to others too much? How addicted must I be to let the numbers affect my emotional state so much? How do I take a break without taking a break?

That last question I'm beginning to answer. Every night I'm taking bigger and bigger chunks of time away from my phone. I start by getting into bed and reading a book, currently 'Gathering Clouds' by Derek H Skinner (which you can get HERE ) Then I will turn on my phone but won't open anything to do with social media and turn on my Headspace app instead. Headspace if you don't know is a meditation app that really helps me to reflect on my day. I'm really terrible at knowing how I feel so I take 10 minutes-30 minutes every night to be still and quiet and asses how my body feels (which is usually super anxious but as I meditate I relax more and more). This short break of doing absolutely nothing is so so helpful to me as someone who always has a million things on their mind.

I'm looking for more ways to unplug however I'm not sure that with where I'm at in my blogging career that I can even afford to do that just yet! I just have to keep reminding myself of what's really important, which is definitely NOT Instagram followers!